This day last year I was marking the end of my formal treatment for breast cancer. After surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy I was champing at the bit to ring the bell. Not in a crowing, triumphal way, but rather marking the end of nine months of what seemed, at times, like hell. That bell was ringing out ‘Thank God that’s over” it was drawing a line under the worst of the treatment and representing a moving forward. It doesn’t herald a cure, that word doesn’t readily pass the lips of the doctors, surgeons and oncologists I’ve met so far. But in my case, I remain positive that the early, speedy capture and treating of the odious little bugger I christened Boris has done the trick. If only certain human Boris’s could be similarly caught and zapped.
Ringing that bell allowed me to start to move forward, and I think I have with a vengeance. While the treatment hadn’t finished at that stage (still had the dreaded Herceptin injection every three weeks until just before Christmas) plus the joy of daily medication for five years. I had at least got back some control of my life. That in some ways creates a problem in itself. Having been pushed from pillar to post with appointments, treatment and generally feeling like death warmed up some days, having the ability to take stock and start making decisions about what you want to do can be daunting. I think having shared my experience with this blog, made it easier for me as I’d been able to get it out of my system. I hadn’t bottled things up and not dealt with things, but put my feelings and frustrations ‘out there’. So thanks to all who endured my bra buying dilemmas, my constipation, my aches, pains and rotting toenails (to be honest I think I spared you the worst of that last one!) You all made excellent therapists!!
My blog helped in other ways too, as it gave me a sense of normality and purpose. While I wasn’t able to concentrate on reading (and by default, reviewing) I did worry that my blog might fall by the wayside. I’d initially set it up to bring together my reviews that were scattered around the ether via Netgalley, Amazon and Goodreads to mention a few. Without reviews it would largely consist of my monthly book hauling posts. I’m delighted to report that whatever else was happening, I was always able to buy books. But my real saviour proved to be my Five on Friday feature. The very first one went live three days after I’d received my diagnosis. What began life as a one off Q&A has snowballed into a regular feature. While I couldn’t read I was still able to email authors, prepare and schedule posts and this gave me something positive to focus on. This feature now attracts my biggest viewing figures.
When I wrote my last ‘one year on’ update it was largely medical, concentrating on the treatments and procedures. While I can’t pretend everything in the garden is rosy, I still sniff Vaseline for Britain in an attempt to relieve my sore, bleeding (that’s literally not swearingly) nose. I still have peripheral neuropathy in my feet, my legs and knees could give an arthritic 80 year a run for their money (bad choice of phrase as running is definitely not on the cards!) and I’m a good two stone heavier than I was before this process started. However I’m also much more akin to my old self and have re-discovered my lust for life. So this time I’d like to do a round up of the more positive and enjoyable achievements in the past year, again not in a crowing way, but in a happy, thankful and appreciative one.
Personal Highlights
Visited Italy twice (Lake Garda and Sorrento area)
Visited Spain (Mallorca)
Spent two wonderful relaxing holidays in Powys.
Started Tai Chi classes along with my OH
Attended a learn to crochet course (I’d say I’m not a natural!)
Managed to produce 45 charity shoe boxes for Christmas with my friend (we had worried that last year we might have managed far less)
Have already knitted 29 beany hats for this year’s shoe boxes.
Went down to London to see the Edward Burne Jones exhibition at The Tate
Book Related Events
Went on my first (self created) Reading Retreat
Attended Gina Kirkham’s book launch event for Whisky, Tango Foxtrot in Liverpool
Made it to Harrogate for the Theakston Crime Writing Festival
Attended the Crime day of the East Riding Festival of Words in Beverley
Attended two author/blogger meet ups in Stoke
Attended a Headline Publishing event in Liverpool
Attended the Orenda Roadshow in Manchester
Blog and bookish highlights
Came second in the Bloggers Bash Awards for Most Inspirational Blog
Amazing have been nominated again this year in Bloggers Bash Awards for Best Book Blog
Acquired 536 e-books (eeek!!)
Acquired 84 tree books
Read 33 books
Achieved my most viewed blog post by miles – Privilege vs Entitlement
Posted 18 reviews
Published 34 Five on Friday features.
Published 45 other blog posts
Had over 17,000 views from over 9,000 visitors
Forthcoming Highlights
A second Reading Retreat – (this week, so expect a blog post to follow)
A holiday to Catalunya with my friend
Hopefully attending the next author/blogger meet up in Stoke
Going to Powys for 2 weeks with my OH
Back to Harrogate for the 2019 Crime Writing Festival
I’ve got Five on Friday’s covered off (hopefully) until June
My reading is definitely improving, though the reviews are proving a little slower (I forget very quickly)
Visiting the Charles Rennie Mackintosh exhibition in Liverpool
Sorry if this feels a bit gloaty, that wasn’t the intention. I’m just very thankful and grateful to be able to get out and about again. Especially as I still can’t drive myself anywhere. Before my diagnosis Harrogate had been my first bookish event. I hadn’t attended any blogger meet ups or publisher events as I didn’t feel I had the confidence to attend things on my own. My blog, as I said before, in many ways has been my saviour, it helped keep me sane and gave me focus. In addition the support and comfort I received from authors, readers and the blogging community was immense. It made me feel accepted and I felt like a real blogger for the first time and while I’m still good at hiding I am getting better at putting myself out there. So if you’re still here at this point, thanks for all your support and apologies for the book haul posts which always end up costing you money.
I’ll leave you with a picture from the last author blogger meet up in Stoke (February 2019). This is me with author Graeme Cumming who I originally met at my very first Harrogate outing (so Boris was with me but we didn’t know him as such then). Apart from the extra weight (mine, not Graeme’s) this could easily have been taken at Harrogate way back in 2017 so that’s a fair indication that all is well on the way to being back on track as well as neatly bringing things full circle.
It is a joy to read this positive post. Here’s to your continuing good health!
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Thanks Joanne x
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You are an amazing lady Jill. We did laugh and cry with you as you went through the treatment but also admired your bravery – not purely in terms of how you endured the multiple challenges of that treatment, but how you were so open about your situation. People react in many different ways of course and some people simply don’t want to talk about their condition while for others, like you, it seems to be a good coping mechanism.
Your point about wanting a degree of normality is something that resonated with me – as you know I had treatment for a different form of cancer two years ago. The one thing I said to everyone was that I did not intend to become a Victorian lady lounging on the sofa watching daytime tv. So I kept walking and kept blogging etc. It was, like for you, a form of sanity.
So here’s to you on this anniversary and for all the others to come 🙂
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Thanks Karen, not sure about amazing but I appreciate the description. As you’ll appreciate until it happens we don’t know how we’ll react and I’m just happy that I didn’t crumble! Normality is important I think just to keep things in focus when all else is beyond your control. Here’s to both of us going forward and hope all is improving for your husband.
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thanks for asking about my OH. It;s going to be slow progress but we’ll get there I’m sure (unless one of us strangles the other because we are getting on each other’s nerves)
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Oh dear, I can understand that, hopefully you’ll find a way of working through it. Sending you all best wishes for improvements in all fronts going forward x
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Cheers Jill, thanks for the good luck winging its way to us
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So lovely to read, Jill. Best of wishes for this year.
You are looking good, you’ve achieved lots and your positive attitude is an encouragement to all.
(And what’s a little weight between friends!)
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Thanks Margaret, who knew that for for someone who grew up being called pessimistic (I preferred realistic) that I could be so positive! I’m quite happy to share the weight between friends if volunteers want to step forward 🙂
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What a super post, Jill. You are such a strong and remarkable woman – thank you for sharing your story. Hugs xx
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Lovely post Jill x
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Thanks Karen xx
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What an inspiring post (and not the least bit gloaty)! I’m so glad the last year has been so much more positive and very best wishes for the next adventures you have planned! Thanks for all your wonderful posts and for hosting me recently too! x
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Many thanks Clare, my OH is after hiding the work diary as I keep taking so much time off (he doesn’t mind really) Plenty of ideas for new posts, just need to actually sit down an organise myself. However you’ll be pleased to know the book hauling will continue so no worries on that score xx
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Wonderful update Jill and not at gloaty!! Xx
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Thanks Nicki xx
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Nothing about this post feels gloaty at all. It’s made me smile and I look forward to seeing you have many more positive and wonderful experiences! xx
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Thanks Eva, I shall be doing my best xx
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What a lovely, positive post. It’s not at all gloating! 🙂
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Thanks Mary xx
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Major congrats on beginning to feel a bit like yourself. Treatments for cancer is like living in hell.
BTW: You look adorable in your new pixie look.
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Cheers Martie, can’t deny the hell part. It’s pixie cuts all the way from hereon in 🙂
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This is a fantastic post to read and wonderful to see you’ve spent your year achieving some lovely things and have more planned X
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Thanks Bee xx
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It’s made me so happy to read this post, Jill. I’m glad you’ve found so many positives in what was such a tough time, it was lovely to read about all the events you’ve been to. 🙂 xx
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Thanks Hayley – there’s no holding me back now xx
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Good to hear you’re keeping going, Jill. Onward and upward! as my hubby says to me
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Thanks Jennie, onward and upward is definitely my mantra x
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A fabulous post from a fabulous lady. I wish you a Happy Anniversary on this important milestone and wish you many happy and healthy years ahead ❤️
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Thanks Yvonne, although it didn’t feel like it at the time, the time has flown x
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A wonderful post to read and just admire you for being so honest throughout, and we need more positivity in the world so always welcome things like this to read!
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Thanks Karen, I always knew that one day my honesty and forthrightness would be seen as a positive lol x
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What a fantastic, uplifting post, Jill. I punched the air for you!
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Aww thanks Nicola – can’t keep a good book buyer down 🙂
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Great post, Jill. There are times when it’s good to look back and take stock and recognise what you have achieved. That’s not gloating, that’s a good healthy attitude. As for the extra weight, I suspect if we had a similar picture from Harrogate, you might not be on your own…
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Thanks Graeme, it’s easy to get bogged down in the treatment and what I can’t do anymore, so it was nice to look through and pick out the positives instead – of which there are plenty. Luckily for you I didn’t take a picture at Harrogate – don’t know how you managed to escape that one!
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So glad you’re feeling so positive – hope to meet you soon at a bookish event x
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Thanks Sue, that would be lovely if we could x
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This is a wonderful post, Jill x
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Thanks Jo x
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Well done Jill on achieving so much during your recovery year – amazing! And you have a lovely list of interesting things for the year ahead – enjoy! It’s much deserved 🙂 x
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Thanks Janet x
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I can’t believe that extensive list of all things undertaken and accomplished and have wondered how you were faring in the battle, so I fully appreciate the thorough update. Bravo for all your achievements!
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Thank you 😊 I’m determined to make the most of my opportunities going forward.
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[…] Book Cafe – What a Difference a Year Makes Paperback Adventures – Audiobooks: Reading or Not? Love Books Group – Inspired by […]
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Thanks Nicki x
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You are a force of nature. Your post is inspiring and full of hope.Thank you for sharing with us 🙂 x
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Thanks Meggy, definitely time to look forward and try and put it in the past, though it’s easier said than done. It has changed me, but it’s not all bad xx
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You are AMAZING Jill and I feel privileged to make your acquaintance – even if it is only online. Keep well and happy reading. ♥
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Thanks Lynne, much appreciated. My online friends really made a difference to me I’m convinced of it xx
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Congrats on finishing strong, Warrior. 😘 Cheers to a healthy future 🥂💖
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Thanks Carol x
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